This feeling of mine...

Sometime, there are stuffs that I want to let go but I don't even know whether I should do it or not. But it feels bad sometime when this thing really happened to me. I think I never said this before but it was bad enough when everytime any decisions are made, I need to consider other people's feelings. Why I don't care about my own feelings? If don't follow the taste of the guys and started to use my own, they won't even look at you and started to ignore you, some even scold you. At the end, I've to change everything to suit them. why don't it be the other way round where they suit me. Why it always happen to me. Anything happening, I have to follow their needs but not mine. Because of this, I realise that I'm more and more not my own self, rather I'm transform into a guy that is different than when he was 2 years back. It is just so bad that you can notice that those who did not see me for the past 2 years will realise that I'm changed, not in term of physical looks but my attitude. For some of you, I might be still the nice guy from what you've thought, but the surrounding here really effects me a lot. Why should I follow other people's rythm and not into my own self? After watching episode 5,season 2 of the Gossip Girl, I just realise that I'm changed(and I mean a lot...)because I need to suits not one people but lots of people's rythm.
I really wish that I could turn back who I was back then. I really hope and pray that God can help me through this. I'm trying to change to a much better me where, I have control of my life rather than other people. The feeling of have to follow other people's feelings and thoughts really awful and when the people just ignore or don't bother you when you don't follow their needs really make me sad. Why don't we just tolerate?
I'm trying to be optimistic here, so I will try to be myself back and thus ensure that I'm no more different than before. Anyway, praise the Lord for making me realise how important it is to know myself and my own weaknesses, I will try to overcome those weaknesses around. ;)
Yes, like the caption on my blog Ability is what you're capable of doing,Motivation determines what u do,Attitudes determines how well you do it.......Attitudes really determines how well I do it. I guess I'm still lack in that. I'm so grateful that I put the caption on the first place, now it serves a reminder for myself for what is ability, on what is motivation and finally Attitudes.....
p/s: Don't worry, those who are close to me are not affected by this. This phenomenon only happened in my Uni life here. I hope I can overcome this obstacle. To, My friends from the matrics and secondary school, I still cherish the memories of my life back then. Thanks for being part of it....hehe...
=D